Hover over the planet...
Hover over the planet...
The money you give to us from our subscription service goes towards producing more of our advanced defense backpacks, and into research for more reliable, large scale defensive systems for the future. We have so far been able to give out backpacks to people in...
So far we have detected that the asteroids are being flung from a distant galaxy, at speeds much faster than light. We suspect that a highly advanced species is behind this bombardment, whom we have nicknamed "The Big Gay." We are finding out as much as we can about these lifeforms, to try and get a better understanding of how to prevent the asteroids.
We offer a high-quality, long-lasting backpack with built in asteroid detection and removal features, and a shield that deploys if Punto detects an asteroid bombardment in your area (if you have paid enough). The backpack can be thought of as an insurance service against asteroids, where you pay a certain subscription to avoid trauma.
Before this service existed, I cowered in fear every single day, scared that an asteroid was going to go through the atmosphere and shoot through my head and kill me. I was so worried about that before, but now I've found Punto, and they've got my back - a service I actually genuinley truly like.
You know, I read a report yesterday that asteroids are coming to kill us all, and that really scared me, because I like being alive. So, I waited until there was an #ad that I could take to talk about the anti-planetary bombardment system, Punto. You pay them for a personal, anti-meteorite thing that hovers over your head and any time a little meteoroid makes it through the atmosphere it just shoots it away so that you can stay safe. And, this is my favourite part, its all contained within one single rucksack! I acturally do use this service - I never leave my home without my vpn for asteroids. [...] Stop trying to find out about my goo!
